Don’t Mess With Old Ladies

“An old lady gets stopped over for speeding”… Older Woman: Is there a problem, officer?

Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding.

Older Woman: Oh, I see. Officer: Can I see your license, please? Older Woman: I’d give it to you, but I don’t have one.

Officer: Don’t have one? Older Woman: Lost it five years ago for drunk driving.

Officer: I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers, please? Older Woman: I can’t do that.

Officer: Why not? Older Woman: I stole this car. Officer: Stole it? Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what? Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see

He looks at the woman, walks away, and calls for backup. Six cop cars circle the car within minutes. Slowly a senior officer approaches the car, with his gun half-drawn.

Officer 2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle, please! The woman steps out of her car. Older woman: Is there a problem, sir? Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you had stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Older Woman: Murdered the owner? Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car please. The trunk is empty when the woman opens it. Officer 2: Is this your car, ma’am?

Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers said that you do not have a driving license. The woman digs into her handbag, pulls out a clutch purse, and gives it to the officer.

The officer checks out the license. He looks a little confused. Officer 2: Thank you, ma’am; one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you killed and hacked up its owner. Older Woman: Bet the liar said I was speeding, too.

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